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2023年12月23日发(作者:accessory 翻译)

-Oh, Drake. -I'm sorry, Amber. 崔克 抱歉,安柏

It's like Brad to have to have the last word. 布莱就是这样子,嘴巴不认输

Sorry I'm late. What happened? 抱歉,我迟到了,怎么样?

We wanna see the end. 我们在看结局

I want you, Drake. 我要你,崔克

I know you do. 这个我知道

But we can never be together that way. 但我们永远不可能会有结果的

What? 什么?

There's something I never told you. 有件事我一直没有告诉你

I'm actually your half-brother. 我是你的异母哥哥

So what happens next? 那后来怎么样呢?

I get the medical award for separating the Siamese twins. 我帮连体婴动分割手术 得了医学奖

Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother,

然后我跟安柏去委内瑞拉 找另外一个异母哥哥雷蒙…

...where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big. …我找到了世界最大的翡翠

那真的很大

But it's cursed. 但受了诅咒

So cool! 好酷喔

God, that is good TV! 天啊,真是个好节目

God, that is good TV! The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies

God, that is good TV! 六人行 第2季 第18集 瑞摩瑞医生之死

Pheebs, play with me! 菲菲,跟我玩嘛

This game is grotesque! 不,这种游戏太畸型了

Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a 居然把二十个手无寸铁的男人

串成一长条…

...forced to play soccer forever? …被迫无止境地踢足球

Hello? Human rights violation! 简直是侵害人权嘛

Don't feel so bad. 不要为他们难过 等他们踢完足球之后…

...I break out the plastic women and everybody has a good time. …我把小塑胶妞拿出来

大家都会非常开心的呀

Why don't you play with your roommate? 你干嘛不跟你室友玩?

He's not a big fan of foosball. 他不爱玩桌上足球

Are we not getting along with the new boy? 你跟那个新来的处得不好吗?

No, he's all right. He spends most of his time in his room. 不是啊,他很好,只是

多数的时间都关在房间里

That's because you haven't gotten to know him. 我想那也许是因为 你没有花时间去了解他

Let's remedy that, shall we? 我们来补救,好不好?

-We don't need to. -lt'll be fun! 我们不需要补救 要啊,会很好玩的

What was that? 什么事?

I thought it'd be fun if we had beers and got to know each other. 我只是想我们三人来喝点啤酒

彼此了解一下会很有意思

All right. 好呀

Oh, good! Okay. 听起来不错

Oh, no! I have to go, because I'm 不行,我得走了 因为我还要赶去…

... my Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. …“绿蛋与火腿”的研讨会

Tonight, it's "Why he would not eat them on a train." 今天晚上主题是…

“为什么不在火车上吃呢?”

-Have fun! Bye! -That was so lame. 好好玩,拜 好烂的藉口

I know. 我知道

Okay, talk to him. 你跟他谈

So you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of ? 你想那个赛车手

被开了多少罚单啊…?

That's good. So who broke up with who? 好笑…谁甩了谁啊?

I broke up with her. 我甩了她呀

She actually thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia. 她真的以为

西恩潘是高棉的首都

When everybody knows that the capital of 有没有搞错?

大家都知道高棉的首都是…

It's not Sean Penn. 不是西恩潘

I got a funny one. 好,我有个好笑的

My last girlfriend, Tilly. We're eating breakfast, right? 好,我前任的女友叫提莉

我们在吃早餐

I made these pancakes. Like, 50 pancakes. 我做了很多薄松饼 大概有五十多个吧

All of a sudden, she turns to me and says, " 突然间她转过来 她就说艾迪…

... I don't wanna see you anymore." …我不想再跟你见面了

It was literally like she had reached into 那就好像是 她把手伸进我的胸膛里…

... ripped out my heart and smeared it all over my life! …挖出了我的心

把我的生活搞得乱七八糟的

There was this incredible abyss and I'm falling. 那就像我面前有一个深渊 我就一直往下掉

I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop! 我就一直往下掉 永无止境地往下掉

That wasn't such a funny story. 这个故事不太好笑,是不是?

And a crusty old man Said I'll do what I can 一个坏脾气老头说我尽量

And the rest of the rats Played maracas 其他老鼠开始摇响葫芦

That's it! Thanks! Good night. 唱完了,谢谢,晚安

Phoebe's got another job, right? 菲比有别的工作吧?

Great set tonight, Pheebs. 唱得很好,菲菲

I know. 我知道

We should get going. 我想我们该走了

We should too. I've got patients at 8 in the morning. 我们也该走了 明天早上八点还有病人

You know how we always stay at your apartment? 知道吗?我在想 我们老是在你那边过夜

I thought tonight we'd stay at my place. 或许今晚改住我那边啊

I don't know. I don't have my jammies. 我不知道,我没有带我的睡衣

You don't need them. 或许你不需要

My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen. 我的小妹妹,各位先生女士

Shut up. I'm happy. 闭嘴,我很快乐

Oh, this is so nice! I have to make a speech. 这太棒了 我必须说几句话

Of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is 我只是想说,在摩妮卡

交过的为数众多的男友当中…

...I like you the best. …我最喜欢你了

Thank you, Pheebs. That's very sweet. 谢谢你,菲菲,嘴真甜

You hear that? 听到了吗?

She likes me best. And apparently, there have been a lot. 她最喜欢我 而且你显然阅人无数

Not a lot. 没有啦

Phoebe's kidding. Phoebe's crazy. 菲比在说笑吧,菲比是疯子

Phoebe's dead. 菲比死定了

I'm looking for Eddie Manoick. 我来找一位曼艾迪

He's not here right now. I'm Chandler. 他现在不在 我叫钱德

Can I take a Or a fish tank? 要我帮你留话 还是…拿鱼缸呢?

Thanks. 谢了

Come on in. 请进

I'm Tilly. 我叫提莉

I gather by that "Oh," he told you about me. 看你这个样子 他一定跟你提过我了

Yeah, your name 提过,你的大名在一段…

...in a conversation that terrified me to my very soul. …令我惊心动魄的对话中 曾经出现过了

He's kind of intense. 他这人有点激烈吧

Yes! Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie 对呀,请问你 艾迪是不是有一点…

A little what? 有一点怎么样?

...bit country? …有点乡村?

Come on in, you roomie! 快进来呀,室友

Hello, Tilly. 提莉

Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank. 艾迪,我只是把鱼缸送过来

That was very thoughtful of you. 你想得真是周到

It's very thoughtful. 非常体帖

Well, okay then. 就这样了

I'm gonna go. Bye. 我要走了,再见

So we getting a fish? 那么我们养鱼了,是不是?

You had sex with her. 你们上床了,是不是?

Check it out, check it out! 菲菲,你看…

Soap Opera Digest! That's one of my favorite digests! “肥皂剧文摘” 我最喜欢的文摘之一

Page 42! Page 42! 42页…

"New Doc on the Block, Days of our Lives Joey Tribbiani." 医界新秀 “我们的日子”崔乔伊

Cool picture! 好酷的照片

Oh, I look good. 我好帅

Is this true? That you write a lot of your own lines? 这是真的吗?

很多台词都是你自己写的吗?

Well, kind of, yeah. 可以这么说啦

Remember last week when Alex was in the accident? 像你记得上礼拜 亚历出了事那一集吗?

The line in the 剧本上的台词是…

... "If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die." …“我们不送这女人

去医院的话,她会死的”

But I made it, "If this woman doesn't get to 被我改成了这个女人

不去医院就医的话…

...she's not gonna live." …她会活不成的

Oh, okay. I see what you did there. 我懂你做了什么了

Aren't you afraid the writers will be kind of mad when they read this? 那你不怕那些编剧

看到这篇文章会有点生气吗?

I never thought about the writers. The scripts just come to my house. 我倒没有考虑到那些编剧

剧本总是送来我家

But you know what? 但你知道吗?

This makes me look good, which makes the show 这样让我很有面子

也因为这样子,节目有面子…

...which makes the writers look good. So how could they be

mad? …也因为这样子,编剧有面子 他们怎么可能会生我的气呢?

...which makes the writers look good. So how could they be mad? 我们的日子

Makes up most of his lines. 他编了自己大部份的台词

Son 很好…

Write this, jerk-weed. 写这个,混蛋

I fall down an elevator shaft? 我跌下了电梯井

What does this mean? I fall down an elevator shaft? 这什么意思?我跌下了电梯井

I don't know. I just bring the scripts. 我不知道,我只是送剧本过来

They can't kill me! I'm Francesca's long-lost son! 他们不能杀我 我是兰琪失散的儿子呀

Right. 对

Could you sign? 请你签收,好吗?

No! No way! I'm not signing that! 我才不签呢

I don't think that will affect the plot of the show. 我不认为 对那个节目的剧情会有影响啊

How can they do this to me? 他们怎么能这么对我?

All right, I'm just gonna go. 我要走了

Sorry. 很遗撼

Well, it wasn't that many guys. 也没有那么多个啦

If you consider how many guys there 我是说,如果你考虑到

全世界有多少男人…

...it's a very small percentage. …那个比例非常小

It's not that big a deal. I was just curious. 没什么大不了的 我只是…好奇罢了

-Good night. -Good night, Richard. 晚安 晚安,理查

Good luck, Mon. 祝你好运,摩妮卡

Before I tell you, you tell me how many women you've been with. 好,我说之前

你先说你有过几个女人

Two. 两个

Two? Two? 两个?…

How is that possible? 那怎么可能?…

... have you seen you? …你知道你长得有多帅吗?

I mean, what can I say? 我能说什么呢?

I was married to Barbara for 30 years, my high-school sweetheart.

我跟芭芭拉做了三十年的夫妻 我们在高中就认识了

Now you. That's two. 加上你,一共两个

Two it is. 那就两个吧

Time for bed. I'm gonna brush my teeth. 该上床了 我要去刷牙了

No, wait a minute now! 你先等一等

Come on, it's your turn. 来啊,换你了

Oh, come on! 快说呀

You know, I don't need the actual number. Just a ballpark. 我也不需要知道确实的数目

只要差不多就可以了

Okay, it is definitely less than a ballpark. 绝对比一个“大厦”还要少

I am so glad I'm not Monica right now. 真庆幸现在我不是摩妮卡

Tell me about it. 那还用说

So what's your magic number? 你的神奇数字是多少?

Come on, you know everyone I've been with. All both of them. 来嘛,我交过的你都认识

两个你都认识

Well, there's you. 有你

Better not be doing these in order. 最好不要说我是第一个

Billy Dreskin, Pete Carny. 崔比利,柯彼得

Barry. 贝利

Paolo. 还有…保罗

Oh, yes, the weenie from Turinie. 对,托里尼来的蠢蛋

Honey, are you jealous of Paolo? 蜜糖,你嫉妒保罗吗?

I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him. 跟他从没像跟你在一起 这么快乐过

-Really? -Oh, please! 真的? 拜托

That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. 跟保罗那一段根本就不能算

All it really was was just meaningless, animal sex. 那只能算是 无意义的野兽的性关系

Okay, you know, that sounded so much better in my head. 我这么说让我自己觉得好多了

I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend. 艾迪 我没有跟你的前任女友上床

That's exactly what someone who slept with her would say. 有意思,因为跟她上过床的人

都会这么说

This is nuts! Crazy! She came over for 你疯了,你疯了,是不是?

她只来了两分钟而已…

...dropped off a fish tank and left! …丢下鱼缸就走了就是这样

Where's Buddy? 巴迪在哪里?

Buddy? 巴迪?

My fish, Buddy. 我的鱼巴迪

There was no fish when she dropped it off. 她根本就没有带鱼来 里面没有任何东西

This is unbelievable! 这真令人难以置信

You sleep with my ex-girlfriend, insult my intelligence 你先跟我的前任女友上床

以为我会笨到去相信你的谎言

...then you kill my fish? My Buddy? 然后你杀了我的鱼 我的巴迪?

I didn't kill your fish! 我没有杀你的鱼啊

Look, Eddie 你听我说,艾迪…

Would you look at what I'm doing? 你看我在做什么,好不好?

Now that can't be smart. 那样太不聪明了

So we're just gonna take this guy right 所以我们要把那个傢伙 给拿开…

...and put him here in Mr. Pocket. …把它放到我的口袋先生里

Tangelo? 来个橘子吧

That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me? 就这样吗?

害怕告诉我的庞大数目吗?

Well, that's not bad at all. 那还好嘛

You had me thinking it was, like, a fleet. 我是说,你害我以为 你有一“托拉库”的人

You're okay with it? 你真的觉得没关系?

Oh, honey, I'm fine. 亲爱的,没关系

Okay, about that two. 对了,关于那两个…

What? 什么?

All right. 好吧

What about my two? 我的“两个”怎么样?

It just seems like a really small number. 只是听起来真的好少喔

Right. 对呀

Don't you have a lot of wild oats to sow? 我是说,难道你没有欲望 到处去采花吗?

Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh, my God! Am I an oat? 你现在就是在那样对我吗?

天啊,我是花吗?

Honey, you are not an oat. 亲爱的,你不是被采的花

I don't know, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. 我不知道 我猜我不是那一型的

I've only slept with women I love. 我只跟我爱的女人上床

You've only slept with two people. 但是你只跟两个人上过床

Right. 对

You know I love you too, right? 你一定知道我也爱你吧?

Now I do. 现在我知道了

Ross, please listen to me. 罗斯…拜托听我说

You are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. 罗斯,你比保罗好太多了

You care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh. 我是说,你关心我

我心中有爱,你会逗我笑

If I make you laugh, here's an idea. 那样的话,我有个主意

Invite Paolo to have a romp in 你可以邀请保罗过来 在床上野兽一下…

...and I'll stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes! …而我就站在角落 讲敲门的笑话

What we have is special! All Paolo and I ever had was 罗斯,我们的感情很特别!

我跟保罗有的只是…

"Animal sex"? “野兽的性关系”?

So what are you saying? 所以你什么意思呢?

There's nothing between us "animal" at all? 你是说我们之间 就没有任何“兽性”的东西吗

There's not even, like, a little animal? 连一点点…一点兽性都没有?

Not even, 甚至连…连像…

...chipmunk sex? …花栗鼠性

Try to hear me, okay? 拜托,你听我说

I'm not gonna lie to you. 我不想对你说谎

-lt was good with Paolo. -Knock-knock. 跟保罗的性很好 敲敲门

But what you and I have is so much better. 但我们两个之间的比那好多了

We have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. 我们有温柔,我们有亲密 我们灵犀相通

You know? I swear. 而且我发誓

This is 我从来没有过…

... I have ever had. …像你这么棒的

Until now. 直到现在

Richard told me he loved me. 理查刚说他爱我

-Oh, my God! -I know! 天啊 我知道

Honey, that's great! 太棒了

I know! 我知道

-I just can't find -Top drawer. 我只是找不到… 在第一个抽屉

-Hurry. -Why? You need one too? 你也要啊 对呀

Found them! 找到了

There's only one. 只有一个

We'll be right there. We're just trying to decide something. 我马上来 我们…在决定事情

-They're trying to decide something. -Good. Good, good. 她们两个在决定事情 好,很好

So was your mustache Did it used to be different? 你的…你的小胡子 跟以前有不同吗?

How do you, you know, keep it so neat? 你怎么能够保持得那么整齐?

I have a comb. 我有一把小梳子

-What is that? -A mustache comb. 那个梳子叫什么? 胡子梳

Thank you. 谢谢

Okay, I will do your laundry for one month. 我帮你洗一个月的衣服

I will, I will, 我会…我会…

I will clean the apartment for two months. 我打扫两个月的房子,如何?

I'll give this to you now, if you tell me where we keep the dustpan. 只要你告诉我我们把畚箕

放在哪里,这个我现在给你

So were you in Nam? 你有没有打过越战?

-Rock, paper, scissors? -Gotcha. 剪刀石头布 没问题

One, two, three. 一,二,三

Yes! 太棒了

Fine. Go have sex. 很好,上床吧

No! You have got it completely wrong! 不对,你完完全全搞错了

John Savage was Deer Hunter, no legs. 强沙维奇是 “越战猎鹿人”,没有腿

Jon Voight was Coming Home, couldn't feel his legs. 强沃特是“归乡”,腿瘫痪了

You've got it totally the other way around, my friend. Jon Voight 你完完全全搞反了,朋友

强沃特是…

-Honey? -What? 亲爱的 什么?

Shall we? 进去吧

It's not gonna happen. 今晚不可能了

They're doing it tonight. We can do it tomorrow. 今天晚上他们做 我们可以明天再做

In the future, if I could see the 下一次的时间表 可不可以先让我看看?

So when I woke up 我今天早上醒过来的时候…

... he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes! …发现他偷了我所有的鞋垫

Why? 为什么?

He thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish. 那傢伙以为我睡了他前任女友

而且还杀了他的鱼

Why would you kill his fish? 你干嘛杀了他的鱼?

Because sometimes after you sleep 菲比,因为有时候 你跟人上床之后…

...you have to kill a fish. …就必须要杀条鱼

Chandler, 钱德,宝贝…

... I'm sorry. …抱歉

Can we watch Joey's show now, please? 可以看乔伊的节目了吗?

Wait. He's not here yet. 等等,他还没有到

He knows what happens. 他知道情节

I'm fine about my problem now, by the way. 对了,我不在乎我的问题了

安柏…

...I'll always be there …你需要的时候永远有我…

...as a friend and as your brother. …我是你一辈子的朋友跟兄弟

Oh, Drake. 崔克

Hard day, huh? 辛苦了

First the medical award, now this? 先是医学大奖,然后是这个

Some guys are just lucky, I guess. 是呀,我猜有些人天生好运

Dr. Ramoray, report to first floor Emergency stat. 雷大夫,请到一楼急诊室报到

Well, 那么…

... I guess that's me. …我猜在叫我了

Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton? Dr. Wall? 还有谁想坐电梯的?

何大夫?华大夫?

They only said you. 他们只叫你一个人啊

Oh, okay. All right. 好吧

I love you. 我爱你,崔克

Yeah, whatever. 是呀,随便啦

Oh, no! 不…

Drake, look out! 崔克,小心,崔克…

-Did they just kill off Joey? -No! 他们刚刚甩了乔伊 不

Now maybe. 好像真的

Come on! Open up! We want to talk to you! 开门,我们想跟你谈一谈

I don't feel like talking! 我不想谈

Come on! We care about you. 别这样了,乔伊 我们关心你

-We're worried about you. -And some of us really have to pee! 我们很关心你

我们有些人真的很急呀

I'm sorry, Joey. 抱歉,乔伊

Listen, sorry about your death. That really sucks. 听着,很遗撼你的死 真的很惨耶

-We came over as soon as we saw. -How could you not tell us? 我们一看到就赶过来了

你怎么不告诉我们呢?

I don't know. I was kind of hoping no one would ever find out. 我不知道

我有点希望没有人会发现

Well, maybe they could find a way to bring you back. 或许他们可以让你起死回生

They said that when they found my body, my brain was so

他们说当找到我尸体的时候 我的脑袋已经摔得稀巴烂了…

...that the only doctor who could've saved me was me. …而唯一救得了我的人是我

It's supposed to be some kind of irony. 说是故意要看起来讽刺什么的

But Joey, you're gonna be fine. 乔伊,你不会有事的

You don't need that show. It was just a dumb soap opera. 你不需要那个节目

那只是个蠢的肥皂剧嘛

This was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. 菲比,那是我这辈子最棒的事

Yes! I was going to incorporate that. 没错,我本来还要那样说的

Here's Monica. She'll have something nice to say. 很好,摩妮卡来了 她会说句好听的啦

I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. 我把你的浴帘拉直了以免发霉

What? To me, that's nice. 怎么了?那是好事啊

It'll be okay. You know that. 不要紧的,你也知道嘛

No, I don't. 不,我不知道

It's like you work your whole life 像你奋斗了一辈子去追求…

...and you think that when you …当你认为你办到的时候…

...it'll never be as good as you thought. …永远不会像你想的一样好

But this so was. 不过这个是啊

It changed everything. 它改变了一切

Like, the other day, I got this credit 前几天呢,我去申请信用卡…

...and I was pre-approved! …我竟然被保送过关了

I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life! 我这辈子从没被保送过关过

I'm sorry, man. 很遗撼,老兄

I don't know if this'll mean anything 乔伊 我不知道这对你有没有意义…

... but you'll always be pre-approved with us. …但我们总是会保送你过关

That means nothing to me. 不,那对我没有意义

Pecan sandy? Just made them. 大胡桃饼,刚出炉的

Yeah, all right. 对,好

Are these raisins? 这是什么?葡萄干吗?

Sure, why not? 当然了,有何不可?

Listen, Eddie. 听我说,艾迪

I've been thinking about our living situation. 我想过 我们目前住在一起的情况了

Why are you smiling? 你为什么要笑?

I got a little surprise. Look. There's a new fishy. 我有个小小的惊喜 我买了条新鱼

I 我叫它…

... Chandler, you know, after you. …钱德,以你为名

Well, that's not even a real fish. 那根本不是一条真鱼啊

No, that's a Goldfish cracker. 那是金鱼饼干耶

So what's your point, man? 你要说什么?

Okay, good night. 晚安了

You big freak of nature! 大自然爱好者

-Brisk tonight. -Oh, man. 今天晚上好冷 老兄


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