高级英语2love-is-a-fallacy中英译文

Cool was I and logical. Keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute and astute—I was all of

these. My brain was as powerful as a dynamo, precise as a chemist’s scales, as penetrating

as a scalpel. And—think of it!—I only eighteen.

我这个人头脑冷静，逻辑思维实力强。敏锐、慎重、聪慧、深刻、机灵一一这些就是我的特点。我的大脑像发电机一样发达，像化学家的天平一样精确，像手术刀一样锐利。一一你知道吗?我才十八岁呀。

It is not often that one so young has such a giant intellect. Take, for example, Petey Bellows, my roommate at the university. Same age, same background, but dumb as an ox. A nice enough fellow, you understand, but nothing upstairs. Emotional type. Unstable. Impressionable. Worst of all, a faddist. Fads, I submit, are the very negation of reason. To be swept up in every new craze that comes along, to surrender oneself to idiocy just because everybody else is doing it—this, to me, is the acme of mindlessness. Not, however, to Petey.

年纪这么轻而智力又如此非凡的人并不常有。就拿在明尼苏达高校跟我同住一个房间的皮蒂·伯奇来说吧，他跟我年龄相仿，经验一样，可他笨得像头驴。小伙子长得年轻美丽，惋惜脑子里却空空如也。他易于激烈，心情反复无常，简单受别人的影响。最糟的是他爱赶时髦。我认为，赶时髦就是最缺乏理智的表现。见到一种簇新的东西就跟着学，以为别人都在那么干，自己也就卷进去傻干——这在我看来，简直愚蠢至极，但皮蒂却不以为然。

One afternoon I found Petey lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I immediately diagnosed appendicitis. “Don’t move,” I said, “Don’t take a laxative. I’ll get a doctor.”

“Raccoon,” he mumbled thickly.

“Raccoon?” I said, pausing in my flight.

“I want a raccoon coat,” he wailed.

I perceived that his trouble was not physical, but mental. “Why do you want a raccoon coat?”

一天下午我望见皮蒂躺在床上，脸上显露出一种苦痛不堪的表情，我立即断定他是得了阑尾炎。“别动，”我说，“别吃泻药，我就请医生来。”

“浣熊，”他咕哝着说。

“浣熊?”我停下来问道。

“我要一件浣熊皮外套，”他苦痛地哭叫着。

我明白了，他不是身体不舒适，而是精神上不太正常。“你为什么要浣熊皮外套?”

“I should have known it,” he cried, pounding his temples. “I should have known they’d come back when the Charleston came back. Like a fool I spent all my money for textbooks, and now I can’t get a raccoon coat.”

“我本早该知道，”他哭叫着，用拳头捶打着太阳穴，“我早该知道查尔斯登舞再度流行时，浣熊皮外套也会时兴起来的。我真傻，钱都买了课本，可现在不能买浣熊皮外套了。”

“Can you mean,” I said incredulously, “that people are actually wearing raccoon coats again?”

“All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them. Where’ve you been?”

In the library,” I said, naming a place not frequented by Big Men on Campus.

He leaped from the bed and paced the room. “I’ve got to have a raccoon coat,” he said passionately. “I’ve got to!”

我带着怀疑的眼神问道：“你是说人们真的又要穿浣熊皮外套吗?”

“校内里有身分的人哪个不穿?你刚从哪儿来?”

“图书馆，”我说了一个有身分的人不常去的地方。

他从床上一跃而起，在房间里踱来踱去。“我确定要弄到一件浣熊皮外套，”他激烈地说，“非弄到不行!”

“Petey, why? Look at it rationally. Raccoon coats are unsanitary. They shed. They smell bad. They weigh too much. They’re unsightly. They—”

“You don’t understand,” he interrupted impatiently. “It’s the thing to do. Don’t you

want to be in the swim?”

“No,” I said truthfully.

“Well, I do,” he declared. “I’d give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!”

My brain, that precision instrument, slipped into high gear. “Anything?” I asked, looking at him narrowly.

“Anything,” he affirmed in ringing tones.

“皮蒂，你怎么啦?冷静地想一想吧，浣熊皮外套不卫生，掉毛，味道难闻，既笨重又不好看，而且……

“你不懂，”他不耐烦地打断我的话。“这就叫时髦。莫非你不想赶时髦吗?”

“不想，”我坦率地回答。

“好啦，我可想着呢!”他确定地说。“只要有浣熊皮外套，要我什么我都给，什么都行!”

我的大脑一一这件精密的仪器一一即刻运转起来。我细致地端详着他，问道：“什么都行?”

“什么都行!”他斩钉截铁地说。

I stroked my chin thoughtfully. It so happened that I knew where to get my hands

on a raccoon coat. My father had had one in his undergraduate days; it lay now in a trunk in the attic back home. It also happened that Petey had something I wanted. He didn’t have it exactly, but at least he had first rights on it. I refer to his girl, Polly Espy.

我若有所思地抚着下巴。好极了，我知道哪儿能弄到浣熊皮外套。我父亲在高校读书时就穿过一件，现在还放在家里顶楼的箱子里。恰好皮蒂也有我须要的东西。尽管他还没有弄到手，但至少他有优先权。我说的是他的女挚友波利·埃斯皮。

I had long coveted Polly Espy. Let me emphasize that my desire for this young woman was not emotional in nature. She was, to be sure, a girl who excited the emotions, but I was not one to let my heart rule my head. I wanted Polly for a shrewdly calculated, entirely cerebral reason.

我早已钟情于波利埃斯皮了。我要特殊说明的是，我想得到这妙龄少女并不是由于感情的驱使。她的确是个易于使人动情的姑娘。可我不是那种让感情统治理智的人，我想得到波利是经过了慎重考虑的，完全是出于理智上的缘由。

I was a freshman in law school. In a few years I would be out in practice. I was

well aware of the importance of the right kind of wife in furthering a lawyer’s career. The successful lawyers I had observed were, almost without exception, married to beautiful, gracious, intelligent women. With one omission, Polly fitted these specifications perfectly.

我是法学院一年级的学生，过不了几年就要挂牌当律师了。我很清晰，一个合适的妻子对一个律师的前途来说是特别重要的。我发觉大凡有成就的律师几乎都是和美丽、文静、聪慧的女子结婚的。波利只差一条就完全符合这些条件了。

Beautiful she was. She was not yet of pin-up proportions, but I felt that time would supply the lack. She already had the makings.

她美丽。尽管她的身材还没有挂在墙上的美女照片那么苗条，但我信任时间会弥补这个不足。她已经大致不差了。

Gracious she was. By gracious I mean full of graces. She had an erectness of carriage, an ease of bearing, a poise that clearly indicated the best of breeding. At table

her manners were exquisite. I had seen her at the Kozy Kampus Korner eating the

specialty of the house—a sandwich that contained scraps of pot roast, gravy, chopped nuts, and a dipper of sauerkraut—without even getting her fingers moist.

她温文尔雅——我这里是指她很有风度。她婷婷玉立，落落大方，悠然自得，一眼就看得出她很有教养。她进餐时，动作是那样的美丽。我曾望见过她在“舒适的校内之角（Kozy Kampus Korner）”吃名点——一块夹有几片带汁的炖肉和碎核桃仁的三明治，还有一小杯泡菜——手指儿一点儿也没有沾湿。

Intelligent she was not. In fact, she veered in the opposite direction. But I believed

that under my guidance she would smarten up. At any rate, it was worth a try. It is, after all, easier to make a beautiful dumb girl smart than to make an ugly smart

girl beautiful.

她不聪慧，事实上恰好相反。但我信任有我的指导，她会变得聪慧的。无论如何可以试一试，使一个美丽的笨姑娘变得聪慧比使一个聪慧的丑姑娘变得美丽终归要简单些。

“Petey,” I said, “are you in love with Polly Espy?”

“I think she’s a keen kid,” he replied, “but I don’t know if you’d call it love. Why?”

“Do you,” I asked, “have any kind of formal arrangement with her? I mean are you going steady or anything like that?”

“No. We see each other quite a bit, but we both have other dates. Why?”

“Is there,” I asked, “any other man for whom she has a particular fondness?”

“皮蒂，”我说，“你在跟波利谈恋爱吧?”

“我觉得她是一个讨人喜爱的姑娘，”他回答说，“但我不知道这是不是就叫做爱情。你问这个干吗?”

“你和她有什么正式的支配吗?我是说你们是不是常有约会，或者有诸如此类的事情?”我问。

“没有，我们常常见面。但我们俩各自有别的约会。你问这个干嘛?”

“还有没有别人使她特殊喜爱呢?”我问道。

“Not that I know of. Why?”

I nodded with satisfaction. “In other words, if you were out of the picture, the field would be open. Is that right?”

“I guess so. What are you getting at?”

“Nothing , nothing,” I said innocently, and took my suitcase out the closet.

“Where are you going?” asked Petey.

“Home for weekend.” I threw a few things into the bag.

“那我可不知道。你问这些干吗?”

我满足地点点头说：“这就是说。假如你不在，场地就是空着的。你说是吗?”

“我想是这样。你这话是什么意思?”

“没什么，没什么，”我若无其事地说，接着把手提皮箱从壁橱里拿了出来。

“你去哪儿?”皮蒂问。

“回家过周末。”我把几件衣服扔进了提箱。

“Listen,” he said, clutching my arm eagerly, “while you’re home, you couldn’t get some money from your old man, could you, and lend it to me so I can buy a raccoon coat?”

“I may do better than that,” I said with a mysterious wink and closed my bag and

left.

“听着，”他着急的抓住我的胳膊说，“你回家后，从你父亲那儿弄点钱来借给我买一件浣熊皮外套，好吗?”

“或许不仅只是这样呢。”我神奇地眨着眼睛说，随后关上皮箱就走了。

“Look,” I said to Petey when I got back Monday morning. I threw open the suitcase and revealed the huge, hairy, gamy object that my father had worn in his Stutz Bearcat in 1925.

星期一上午我回到学校时对皮蒂说：“你瞧!”我猛地打开皮箱，那件肥大、毛茸茸、散发着怪味的东西露了出来，这就是我父亲1925年在施图茨比尔凯特汽车里穿过的那一件浣熊皮外套。

“Holy Toledo!” said Petey reverently. He plunged his hands into the raccoon coat and then his face. “Holy Toledo!” he repeated fifteen or twenty times.

“Would you like it?” I asked.

“Oh yes!” he cried, clutching the greasy pelt to him. Then a canny look came into

his eyes. “What do you want for it?”

“Your girl.” I said, mincing no words.

“Polly?” he said in a horrified whisper. “You want Polly?”

“That’s right.”

“太好了!”皮蒂尊敬的说。他把两只手插进那件皮外套，然后把头也埋了进去。“太好啦!”他不断地重复了一二十遍。

“你喜爱吗?”我问道。

“哦，喜爱!”他高声叫着，把那满是油腻的毛皮紧紧地搂在怀里。接着他眼里露出机警的神色，说着：“你要什么换呢?”

“你的女挚友，”我毫不讳言地说。

“波利?”他惊讶了，结结巴巴地说，“你要波利?”

“是的。”

He flung the coat from him. “Never,” he said stoutly.

I shrugged. “Okay. If you don’t want to be in the swim, I guess it’s your business.”

他把皮外套往旁一扔，毫不妥协的说：“那可不行。”

我耸了耸肩膀说：“好吧，假如你不想赶时髦，那就随你的便好了。”

I sat down in a chair and pretended to read a book, but out of the corner of my eye I kept watching Petey. He was a torn man. First he looked at the coat with the

expression of a waif at a bakery window. Then he turned away and set his jaw resolutely. Then he looked back at the coat, with even more longing in his face. Then he turned away, but with not so much resolution this time. Back and forth his head swiveled, desire waxing, resolution waning. Finally he didn’t turn away at all; he

just stood and stared with mad lust at the coat.

我在一把椅子上坐了下来，假装读书，暗暗地瞟着皮蒂。他神情担心，用面包店窗前的流浪儿那种馋涎欲滴的神情望着那件皮外套，接着扭过头去，坚决地咬紧牙关。过了一会儿，他又回过头来把目光投向那件皮外套，脸上露出更加渴望的神情。等他再扭过头去，已经不那么坚决了。他看了又看，越看越爱，渐渐地决心也就减弱了。最终他再也不扭过头去，只是站在那儿，贪欲地盯着那件皮外套。

“It isn’t as though I was in love with Polly,” he said thickly. “Or going steady or

anything like that.”

“That’s right,” I murmured.

“What’s Polly to me, or me to Polly?”

“Not a thing,” said I.

“It’s just been a casual kick—just a few laughs, that’s all.”

“Try on the coat,” said I.

“我和波利似乎不是在谈恋爱，”他含模糊糊地说。“也说不上常常约会或有诸如此类的事情。”

“好的，”我低声地说。

“波利对我算得了什么?我对波利又算得了什么?”

“只不过是一时兴奋-----不过是说说笑笑罢了，如此而已。”

“试试外套吧。”我说

He complied. The coat bunched high over his ears and dropped all the way down to his shoe tops. He looked like a mound of dead raccoons. “Fits fine,” he said happily.

I rose from my chair. “Is it a deal?” I asked, extending my hand.

He swallowed. “It’s a deal,” he said and shook my hand.

“他照办了。衣领蒙住了他的耳朵，下摆始终拖到脚跟。他看起 来活像一具浣熊尸体。他兴奋地说：“挺合身的。”

“我从椅子上站了起来。“成交了吗?”我说着，把手伸向他。

他轻易地接受了。“算数．”他说，并跟我握了握手。

I had my first date with Polly the following evening. This was in the nature of a survey; I wanted to find out just how much work I had to do to get her mind up to the standard I required. I took her first to dinner. “Gee, that was a delish dinner,”

she said as we left the restaurant. Then I took her to a movie. “Gee, that was a marvy movie,” she said as we left the theatre. And then I took her home. “Gee, I had a sensaysh time,” she said as she bade me good night.

其次天晚上，我与波利第一次约会了。这一次事实上是我对她的考察。我想弄清要作多大的努力才能使她的头脑达到我的要求。我首先请她去吃饭。“哈，这顿饭真够意思，”离开餐馆时她说。然后我请她去看电影。“嘿，这片子真好看，”走出影院时她说。最终我送她回家。和我道别时她说：“嘿，今晚玩得真痛快。”

I went back to my room with a heavy heart. I had gravely underestimated the size

of my task. This girl’s lack of information was terrifying. Nor would it be enough

merely to supply her with information. First she had to be taught to think. This loomed as a project of no small dimensions, and at first I was tempted to give her back to Petey. But then I got to thinking about her abundant physical charms and about the way she entered a room and the way she handled a knife and fork, and I decided to make an effort.

我带着不大痛快的心情回到了房间。我对这任务的艰难性估计得太低了。这姑娘的学问少得叫人惊讶。只是给她增加学问还不够，首先得教她学会思索。这可不是一件简单的事，当时我真想把她还给皮蒂算了。但我一想到她那充溢魅力的身材，她那进屋时的模样，她那拿刀叉的姿式，我还是确定再作一番努力。

I went about it, as in all things, systematically. I gave her a course in logic. It happened that I, as a law student, was taking a course in logic myself, so I had all the facts at my fingertips. “Poll’,” I said to her when I picked her up on our next date, “tonight we are going over to the Knoll and talk.”

就像做其他的事情一样，我起先有支配地干了起来。我起先给她上辑课。幸好我是一个学法律的学生，我自己也正在学逻辑学，所以对要教的内容我都很熟识。当我接她

赴其次次约会时，我对她说：“今晚上咱们去‘小山’谈谈吧”。

“Oo, terrif,” she replied. One thing I will say for this girl: you would go far to find another so agreeable.

We went to the Knoll, the campus trysting place, and we sat down under an old oak, and she looked at me expectantly. “What are we going to talk about?” she asked.

“Logic.”

She thought this over for a minute and decided she liked it. “Magnif,” she said.

“啊，好极了，”她回答道。对这姑娘我要补充一句的是，像她这么好商议的人是不多见的。

我们去了“小山”，这是校内里人们幽会的地方。我们坐在一棵老橡树下，她用期盼的眼神看着我。“我们谈些什么呢?”她问。

“逻辑学。”

她想了一会儿，觉得不错，便说：“好极了。”

“Logic,” I said, clearing my throat, “is the science of thinking. Before we can think correctly, we must first learn to recognize the common fallacies of logic. These we will take up tonight.”

“Wow-dow!” she cried, clapping her hands delightedly.

I winced, but went bravely on. “First let us examine the fallacy called Dicto Simpliciter.”

“逻辑学，”我清了清嗓了，“就是思维的科学。在我们能正确地思维之前，首先必需学会判别逻辑方面的常见谬误。我们今晚就要来谈谈这些。”

“哇!”她叫了起来，兴奋地拍着手。

我打了个寒噤，但还是鼓足志气讲下去：“首先我们来探究一下被称为确定推断的谬误。” “好呀!”她眨了挤眼，督促着。

“By all means,” she urged, batting her lashes eagerly.

“Dicto Simpliciter means an argument based on an unqualified generalization. For example: Exercise is good. Therefore everybody should exercise.”

“I agree,” said Polly earnestly. “I mean exercise is wonderful. I mean it builds the

body and everything.”

“确定推断指的是依据一种无条件的前提推出的论断。譬如说，运动是有益的，因此人人都要运动。”

“不错，”波利细致地说，“运动是特别有益的，它能增加体质，好处太多了!”

“Polly,” I said gently, “the argument is a fallacy. Exercise is good is an unqualified generalization. For instance, if you have heart disease, exercise is bad, not good. Many people are ordered by their doctors not to exercise. You must qualify the generalization. You must say exercise is usually good, or exercise is good for most people. Otherwise you have committed a Dicto Simpliciter. Do you see?”

“波利，”我温柔地说，“这种论点是谬误。运动有益是一种无条件的前提。比方说，假设你得了心脏病，运动不但无益，反而有害，有不少人医生就不准他们运动。你必需给这种前提加以限制。你应当说，一般来说运动是有益的。或者说，对大多数人是有益的。否则就是犯了确定推断的错误，懂吗?”

“No,” she confessed. “But this is marvy. Do more! Do more!”

“It will be better if you stop tugging at my sleeve,” I told her, and when she desisted, I continued. “Next we take up a fallacy called Hasty Generalization. Listen carefully: You can’t speak French. Petey Bellows can’t speak French. I must therefore conclude that nobody at the University of Minnesota can speak French.”

“不懂，”她坦率地说。“这可太有意思了，讲吧!往下讲吧!”

“你最好别拉我袖子了，”我对她说。等她松了手，我接着讲：“下面我们讲一种被称为草率结论的谬误。你细致听：你不会讲法语，我不会讲法语，皮蒂也不会讲法语。因此我就会断定在明尼苏达高校谁也不会讲法语。”

“Really?” said Polly, amazed. “Nobody?”

I hid my exasperation. “Polly, it’s a fallacy. The generalization is reached too hastily. There are too few instances to support such a conclusion.”

“Know any more fallacies?” she asked breathlessly. “This is more fun than dancing

even.”

“真的?”波利新颖 的问道，“谁也不会吗?”

我压住火气。“波利，这是一种谬误，这是一种草率的结论。能使这种结论成立的例证太少了。”

“你还知道其他的谬误吗?”她气喘吁吁地说：“这真比跳舞还有意思啦!”

I fought off a wave of despair. I was getting nowhere with this girl, absolutely nowhere. Still, I am nothing if not persistent. I continued. “Next comes Post Hoc.

Listen to this: Let’s not take Bill on our picnic. Every time we take him out with us, it rains.”

我极力地使自己不灰心。我真拿这姑娘没方法，的确是毫无方法。可是，假如我不坚持下去，我就太没有用了。因此，我接着讲下去。

“现在听我讲讲‘牵强附会’的谬误。听着：我们不要带比尔出去野餐。每次带他一起去，天就下雨。”

“I know somebody just like that,” she exclaimed. “A girl back home—Eula Becker,

her name is. It never fails. Every single time we take her on a picnic—”

“Polly,” I said sharply, “it’s a fallacy. Eula Becker doesn’t cause the rain. She has

no connection with the rain. You are guilty of Post Hoc if you blame Eula Becker.”

“我就见过这样的人，”她感叹地说。“我们家乡有个女孩，名叫尤拉·蓓克尔。从没有例外，每次我们带她去野餐……”

“波利，”我严厉地说，“这是一种谬误。下雨并不是尤拉蓓克尔造成的，下雨与她没有任何关系。假如你指责尤拉·蓓克尔，你就是犯了牵强附会的错误。”

“I’ll never do it again,” she promised contritely. “Are you mad at me?”

I sighed. “No, Polly, I’m not mad.”

“Then tell me some more fallacies.”

“All right. Let’s try Contradictory Premises.”

“Yes, let’s,” she chirped, blinking her eyes happily.

“我再也不这样了，”她后悔地保证说。“你生我的气了吗?”

我深深地叹了一口气：“不，波利，我没生气。”

“那么，给我再讲些谬误吧!”

“好，让我们来看看冲突前提吧。”

“行，行，”她叽叽喳喳地叫着，两眼出现出欢乐的光线。

I frowned, but plunged ahead. “Here’s an example of Contradictory Premises: If God can do anything, can He make a stone so heavy that He won’t be able to lift it?”

“Of course,” she replied promptly.

“But if He can do anything, He can lift the stone,” I pointed out.

“Yeah,” she said thoughtfully. “Well, then I guess He can’t make the stone.”

“But He can do anything,” I reminded her.

She scratched her pretty, empty head. “I’m all confused,” she admitted.

我皱了皱眉头，但还是接着讲下去。“这里有一个冲突前提的例子：假如上帝是万能的，他能造出一块连他自己也搬不动的大石头吗?”

“当然能，”她坚决果断地回答道。

“但是假如他是万能的，他就能搬动那块石头呀，”我提示她。

“是嘛!”她若有所思地说，“嗯，我想他造不出那样的石头。”

“但他是万能的啊，”我进一步提示她。

她用手抓了抓她那美丽而又空虚的脑袋。“我全搞糊涂了，”她承认说。

“Of course you are. Because when the premises of an argument contradict each other, there can be no argument. If there is an irresistible force, there can be no immovable object. If there is an immovable object, there can be no irresistible force. Get it?”

“Tell me more of this keen stuff,” she said eagerly.

“你的确糊涂了。因为一种论点的各个前提相互问是冲突的，这种论点就不能成立。假如有一种不行抗拒的力气．就不行能有一种不行移动的物体；假如有一种不行移动的物体，就不行能有一种不行抗拒的力气。懂吗?”

“再给我讲些这类新颖 的玩意儿吧，”她恳切地说。

I consulted my watch. “I think we’d better call it a night. I’ll take you home now,

and you go over all the things you’ve learned. We’ll have another session tomorrow night.”

我看了看表，说：“我想今晚就谈到这里。我现在该送你回去了。你把所学的东西复习一遍，我们明晚上再来上一课吧。”

I deposited her at the girls’ dormitory, where she assured me that she had had a perfectly terrif evening, and I went glumly home to my room. Petey lay snoring in his bed, the raccoon coat huddled like a great hairy beast at his feet. For a moment I considered waking him and telling him that he could have his girl back. It seemed clear that my project was doomed to failure. The girl simply had a logic-proof head.

我把她送到了女生宿舍，在那里她向我保证说这个晚上她过得特别痛快。我闷闷不乐地回到了我的房间，皮蒂正鼾声如雷地睡在床上。那件浣熊皮外套像一头多毛的野兽扒在他的脚边。我当时真想把他叫醒，告知他可以把他的女挚友要回去。看来我的支配会要落空了。这姑娘对逻辑简直是一点儿都不开窍。

But then I reconsidered. I had wasted one evening; I might as well waste another.

Who knew? Maybe somewhere in the extinct crater of her mind a few members still smoldered. Maybe somehow I could fan them into flame. Admittedly it was not a prospect fraught with hope, but I decided to give it one more try.

但是我回过头一想，既然已经奢侈了一个晚上，不妨还是再花一个晚上看看。天晓得，说不定她头脑里的死火山口中的什么地方，还有些火星会喷射出来呢。或许我会有方法能把这些火星扇成熊熊烈焰。当然，胜利的希望是不大的，但我还是确定再试一次。

Seated under the oak the next evening I said, “Our first fallacy tonight is called Ad Misericordiam.”

She quivered with delight.

其次天晚上我们又坐在那棵橡树下，我说：“今晚上我们要谈的第一种谬误叫做文不对题。”

她兴奋得都颤抖了。

“Listen closely,” I said. “A man applies for a job. When the boss asks him what his qualifications are, he replies that he has a wife and six children at home, the wife is a helpless cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet, there are no beds in the house, no coal in the cellar, and winter is coming.”

“留意听，”我说。“有个人申请工作，当老板问他所具备的条件时，他回答说他家有妻子和六个孩子。妻子完全残废了，孩子们没吃的，没穿的，睡觉没有床，生火没有煤，眼看冬天就要到了。”

A tear rolled down each of Polly’s pink cheeks. “Oh, this is awful, awful,” she sobbed.

“Yes, it’s awful,” I agreed, “but it’s no argument. The man never answered the boss’s question about his qualifications. Instead he appealed to the boss’s sympathy. He committed the fallacy of Ad Misericordiam. Do you understand?”

两滴眼泪顺着波利那粉红的脸蛋往下滚。“啊，这太可怕了!太可怕了!”她抽泣着说。

“是的，是太可怕了，”我同意地说。“但这可不成其为申请工作的理由。那人根本没有回答老板提出的关于他的条件的间题，反而祈求老板的怜悯。他犯了文不对题的错误。你懂吗!”

“Have you got a handkerchief?” she blubbered.

I handed her a handkerchief and tried to keep from screaming while she wiped her

eyes. “Next,” I said in a carefully controlled tone, “we will discuss False Analogy.

Here is an example: Students should be allowed to look at their textbooks during examinations. After all, surgeons have X-rays to guide them during an operation, lawyers have briefs to guide them during a trial, carpenters have blueprints to guide them when they are building a house. Why, then, shouldn’t students be allowed to look at their textbooks during an examination?”

“你带手帕了没有?”她哭着说

我把手帕递给她。当她擦眼泪时，我极力限制自己的火气。“下面，”我当心地压低声调说，“我们要探讨错误类比。这里有一个例子：应当允许学生考试时看课本。既然外科医生在做手术时可以看X光片，律师在审案时可以看案由，木匠在造房子时可以看蓝图，为什么学生在考试时不能看课本呢?”

“There now,” she said enthusiastically, “is the most marvy idea I’ve heard in years.”

“Polly,” I said testily, “the argument is all wrong. Doctors, lawyers, and carpenters aren’t taking a test to see how much they have learned, but students are. The situations are altogether different, and you can’t make an analogy between them.”

“I still think it’s a good idea,” said Polly.

“这个，”她满怀激情地说，“可是我多少年来听到的最好的办法。”

“波利，”我生气地说，“这种论点全错了。医生、律师和木匠并不是以参与考试的方式去测验他们所学的东西。学生们才是这样。状况完全不同，你不能在不同的状况之间进行类比”。 “我还是觉得这是个好办法，”波利说。

“Nuts,”I muttered. Doggedly I pressed on. “Next we’ll try Hypothesis Contrary to Fact.”

“Sounds yummy,” was Polly’s reaction.

“Listen: If Madame Curie had not happened to leave a photographic plate in a drawer with a chunk of pitchblende, the world today would not know about

radium.”

“咳!”我嘀咕着，但我还是执意地往下讲，“接下去我们试试与事实相反的假设吧。”

波利的反应是：“倒挺好。”

“你听着：假如居里夫人不是碰巧把一张照相底片放在装有一块沥清铀矿石的抽屉里，那么世人今日就不会知道镭。”

“True, true,” said Polly, nodding her head “Did you see the movie? Oh, it just knocked me out. That Walter Pidgeon is so dreamy. I mean he fractures me.”

“If you can forget Mr. Pidgeon for a moment,” I said coldly, “I would like to point out that statement is a fallacy. Maybe Madame Curie would have discovered radium at some later date. Maybe somebody else would have discovered it. Maybe any number of things would have happened. You can’t start with a hypothesis that is not true and then draw any supportable conclusions from it.”

“对，对，”波利点头称是。“你看过那部影片吗?哦，真好看。沃尔特·皮金演得太好了．我是说他让我着迷了。”

“假如你能短暂遗忘皮金先生，”我冷冰冰地说，“我会情愿指出这种说法是错误的。也许居里夫人以后会发觉镭的，或许由别人去发觉，或许还会发生其他的事情。你不能从一个不实际的假设动身，从中得出任何可站得住脚的结论。”

“They ought to put Walter Pidgeon in more pictures,” said Polly, “I hardly ever see him any more.”

One more chance, I decided. But just one more. There is a limit to what flesh and

blood can bear. “The next fallacy is called Poisoning the Well.”

“How cute!” she gurgled.

“人们真应当让沃尔特皮金多拍些照片，”波利说，“我几乎再也看不到他了。” 我确定再试一次，但只能一次。一个人的忍耐终归是有限度的。我说：“下一个谬误叫做井下放毒。”

“多聪慧啊!”她咯咯笑了起来。

“Two men are having a debate. The first one gets up and says, ‘My opponent is a

notorious liar. You can’t believe a word that he is going to say.’ ... Now, Polly, think. Think hard. What’s wrong?”

“有两个人在进行一场辩论。第一个人站起来说：‘我的论敌是个劣迹昭彰的骗子。他所说的每一句话都不行信。’……波利，现在你想想，好好想一想。这句话错在哪里?”

I watched her closely as she knit her creamy brow in concentration. Suddenly a glimmer of intelligence—the first I had seen—came into her eyes. “It’s not fair,” she said with indignation. “It’s not a bit fair. What chance has the second man got if the first man calls him a liar before he even begins talking?”

她紧锁着眉头，我凝神地看着她。突然，一道才智的光线——这是我从未看到过的一一出现在她的眼中。“这不公允，”她生气地说，“一点都不公允。假如第一个人不等其次个人开口就说他是骗子，那么其次个人还有什么可说的呢?”

“Right!” I cried exultantly. “One hundred per cent right. It’s not fair. The first man has poisoned the well before anybody could drink from it. He has hamstrung his opponent before he could even start ... Polly, I’m proud of you.”

“Pshaws,” she murmured, blushing with pleasure.

“对!”我兴奋地叫了起来，“百分之百的对，是不公允。第一个人还不等别人喝到井水，就在井下放毒了。他还不等他的对手开口就已经 损害了他。……波利，我真为你感到傲慢。”

她轻轻地“哼”了一声，兴奋得脸郡发红了。

“You see, my dear, these things aren’t so hard. All you have to do is concentrate.

Think—examine—evaluate. Come now, let’s review everything we have learned.”

“你看，敬爱的，这些问题并不深邃，只要精力集中，就能应付。思索——分析—一推断。来，让我们把所学过的东西再复习一遍吧。”

“Fire away,” she said with an airy wave of her hand.

Heartened by the knowledge that Polly was not altogether a cretin, I began a long,

patient review of all I had told her. Over and over and over again I cited instances, pointed out flaws, kept hammering away without letup. It was like digging a tunnel. At first, everything was work, sweat, and darkness. I had no idea when I would reach the light, or even if I would. But I persisted. I pounded and clawed and scraped, and finally I was rewarded. I saw a chink of light. And then the chink got bigger and the sun came pouring in and all was bright.

“来吧，”她说着。把手往上一晃。

看到波利并不那么傻，我的劲头上来了。于是，我便起先把对她讲过的一切，长时间地、耐性地复习了一遍。我给她一个一个地举出例子，指出其中的错误，不停地讲下去。就好比挖掘一条隧道，起先只有劳累、汗水和黑暗，不知道什么时候能见到光亮，甚至还不知道能否见到光亮。但我坚持着，凿啊，挖啊，刮啊，最终得到了报偿。我见到了一线光亮，这光亮越来越大，最终阳光洒进来了，一切都豁然开朗了。

Five grueling nights with this took, but it was worth it. I had made a logician out

of Polly; I had taught her to think. My job was done. She was worthy of me, at last. She was a fit wife for me, a proper hostess for my many mansions, a suitable

mother for my well-heeled children.

我辛辛苦苦地花了五个晚上，但终于还是没有白费，我使波利变成一个逻辑学家了，我教她学会了思索。我的任务完成了，她最终还是配得上我的。她会成为我贤慧的妻子，我那些豪华公馆里精彩的女主子。我那些有良好教养的孩子们的合格的母亲。

It must not be thought that I was without love for this girl. Quite the contrary. Just as Pygmalion loved the perfect woman he had fashioned, so I loved mine. I decided to acquaint her with my feelings at our very next meeting. The time had come to change our relationship from academic to romantic.

不要以为我不爱这姑娘了，恰恰相反。正如皮格马利翁珍爱他自己塑造的完备的少女像一样，我也特别地爱我的波利。我确定下次会面时把自己的感情向她倾吐。该是把我们师生式的关系转化为爱情的时候了。

“Polly,” I said when next we sat beneath our oak, “tonight we will not discuss fallacies.”

“Aw, gee,” she said, disappointed.

“My dear,” I said, favoring her with a smile, “we have now spent five evenings together. We have gotten along splendidly. It is clear that we are well matched.”

“波利，”当我们又坐在我们那棵橡树下时，我说。“今晚我们不再探讨谬误了。”

“怎么啦?”她悲观地问道。

“敬爱的，”我友好地对她笑了笑，“我们已经一起度过了五个晚上，我们相处得很好。明显我们俩是很相配的。”

“Hasty Generalization,” said Polly brightly.

“I beg your pardon,” said I.

“Hasty Generalization,” she repeated. “How can you say that we are well matched on the basis of only five dates?”

“草率结论，”波利伶俐地说。

“你是说…?”我问道。

“草率结论，”她重复了一遍。“你怎么能凭我们仅有的五次约会就说我们俩很相配呢?”

I chuckled with amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons well. “My dear,” I said, patting her hand in a tolerant manner, “five dates is plenty. After all, you don’t have to eat a whole cake to know that it’s good.”

我咯咯一笑，觉得挺有意思。这可爱的小家伙功课学得可真不错。“敬爱的，”我耐性地拍打着她的手说，“五次约会就不少了，终归你不必把整个蛋糕吃下去才知道蛋糕的甜味。”

“False Analogy,” said Polly promptly. “I’m not a cake. I’m a girl.”

I chuckled with somewhat less amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons perhaps too well. I decided to change tactics. Obviously the best approach was a simple, strong, direct declaration of love. I paused for a moment while my massive brain chose the proper word. Then I began:

“错误类比，”波利灵敏地说。“我可不是蛋糕，我是个女孩子。”我微微一笑，但这次不感到那么有意思了。这可爱的孩子功课或许是学得太好了。我确定变更策略。明显，最好的方法就是看法明朗，干脆了当地向她表示爱。我缄默了一会儿，用我特殊发达的脑袋选择着合适的词句。然后我便起先说：

“Polly, I love you. You are the whole world to me, the moon and the stars and the constellations of outer space. Please, my darling, say that you will go steady with

me, for if you will not, life will be meaningless. I will languish. I will refuse my

meals. I will wander the face of the earth, a shambling, hollow-eyed hulk.”

“波利，我爱你。对我来说，你就是整个世界，是月亮，是星星，是整个宇宙。我敬爱的，请说你爱我吧。假如你不这样，我的生活就失去意义了。我将会萎靡不振，茶不饮，饭不思，到处游荡，成为一个步履蹒跚、双眼凹下的躯壳。”

There, I thought, folding my arms, that ought to do it.

“Ad Misericordiam,” said Polly.

I ground my teeth. I was not Pygmalion; I was Frankenstein, and my monster had

me by the throat. Frantically I fought back the tide of panic surging through me; at all costs I had to keep cool.

我交叉着双手站在那里，心想这下子可打动了她。

“文不对题，”波利说。

我咬咬牙。我不是皮格马利翁，我是弗兰肯斯坦，我的喉咙似乎一下子让魔鬼卡住了。我极力地限制涌上心头的阵阵痛楚。无论怎样，我电要保持冷静。

“Well, Polly,” I said, forcing a smile, “you certainly have learned your fallacies.”

“You’re darn right,” she said with a vigorous nod.

“And who taught them to you, Polly?”

“You did.”

“好了，波利，”我强装着笑脸说，“这些谬误你的确已学到家了。”

“这可说得很对，”她用劲地点了点头说道。

“可是波利，这一切是谁教给你的?”

“你教的嘛。”

“That’s right. So you do owe me something, don’t you, my dear? If I hadn’t come

along you never would have learned about fallacies.”

“Hypothesis Contrary to Fact,” she said instantly.

I dashed perspiration from my brow.

“是的，那你得感谢我呀。是吗，敬爱的?要是我不和你在一起，你恒久也不会学到这些谬误的”。

“与事实相反的假设，”波利不加思索地说着。

“Polly,” I croaked, “you mustn’t take all these things so literally. I mean this is just classroom stuff. You know that the things you learn in school don’t have anything to do with life.”

“Dicto Simpliciter,” she said, wagging her finger at me playfully.

我摔掉了额前的汗珠。“波利，”我用嘶哑的声音说道，“你不要死板地接受这些东西。我是说那只是课堂上讲的东西。你知道学校学的东西与现实生活毫不相关。”

“确定推断，”她说道，游戏地向我摇摇指头。

That did it. I leaped to my feet, bellowing like a bull. “Will you or will you not go steady with me?”

“I will not,” she replied.

“Why not?” I demanded.

“Because this afternoon I promised Petey Bellows that I would go steady with him.”

这一下可使我恼火了。我猛地跳了起来，像公牛似地吼叫着，“你究竟想不想跟我相爱?”

“我不想，”她答道。

“为什么不想?”我追问着。

“因为今日下午我答应了皮蒂伯奇，我情愿和他相爱。”

I reeled back, overcome with the infamy of it. After he promised, after he made a

deal, after he shook my hand! “The rat!” I shrieked, kicking up great chunks of turf. “You can’t go with him, Polly. He’s a liar. He’s a cheat. He’s a rat.”

我被皮蒂这一无耻的行径气得一阵晕眩，不由自主地向后退去。皮蒂答应了我，跟我成了交，还跟我握了手呢!“这个可耻的家伙!”我尖着嗓子大叫，把一块块草皮踢了起来。“你不能跟他在一起，波利。他是一个说谎的人，一个骗子，一个可耻的家伙!”

“Poisoning the Well ,” said Polly, “and stop shouting. I think shouting must be a fallacy too.”

“井下放毒，”波利说。“别叫嚷了，我认为大声叫嚷就是一种谬误。”

With an immense effort of will, I modulated my voice. “All right,” I said. “You’re

a logician. Let’s look at this thing logically. How could you choose Petey Bellows

over me? Look at me—a brilliant student, a tremendous intellectual, a man with an

assured future. Look at Petey—a knothead, a jitterbug, a guy who’ll never know where his next meal is coming from. Can you give me one logical reason why you should go steady with Petey Bellows?”

“I certainly can,” declared Polly. “He’s got a raccoon coat.”

我以极大的意志力把语气缓和下来。“好吧，”我说，“你是一个逻辑学家。那就让我们从逻辑上来分析这件事吧。你怎么会看得中皮蒂，而看不起我呢?你瞧我一个才华横溢的学生，一个了不得的学问分子，一个前途无量的人；而皮蒂——一个笨蛋，一个反复无常的人，一个吃了上顿不知有没有下顿的家伙。你能给我一个合乎逻辑的理由来说明你为什么要跟皮蒂好吗?”

“当然能，”波利确定地说。“他有一件浣熊皮外套。”